The Phases of the Spiritual Journey

How exciting to see a spiritual movement in Owensboro! 

When I came home in 2009, this movement was non-existent. Evansville offered a small community of like-minded people into which I was welcomed with open arms.  That involvement allowed me to share my spiritual knowledge, practice and wisdom gained while living this path Colorado.  People seemed hungry for the information, eager even to be a part of whatever I had to offer. Yet, as quickly as they flocked to the opportunity, they quickly disappeared into the background again.  Why?

Before answering this question, you need to understand what being on a spiritual journey means. Unlike what many on this path believe or think, the spiritual journey isn’t an external experience.  The spiritual journey isn’t reading spiritual books by Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer or Deepak Chopra; nor is it watching Youtube videos of Abraham Hicks, Tara Brach or Caroline Myss. It isn’t watching Gaia TV or wearing crystals or stones or meditating now and again when convenient.  The spiritual journey isn’t taking a class here or there or doing yoga a couple times a week or visiting your local metaphysical store. Before you throw your amethyst and black tourmaline stones at me, WAIT!  All these things are WONDERFUL and excellent tools used while on the spiritual journey; but please understand this important distinction:  these things do not constitute one being on a spiritual journey.

There’s a Christian song called “Undergoing the Change” that humorously talks about how wearing the WWJD bracelet and a t-shirt professing what one believes, and placing an image of a fish on your car’s bumper doesn’t make one a Christian; instead, it goes on to say while all that stuff is “well and good”, it’s how one lives one’s life that determines whether s/he is “undergoing the change”, meaning practicing and living their Christianity. Not unlike this example, the spiritual journey is indeed a journey within, not a destination. To practice and live in the spiritual journey, one must also undergo the change – meaning undergo deep inner spiritual healing work.

The spiritual journey is a deepening of one’s consciousness of WHO you are and HOW you live the WHO of who you are. It is an inner experience within which you travel to re-connect and re-member your soul essence, buried under the human experience gunk. The spiritual journey clarifies the vibrational difference between who you are as a spiritual being and who you are in the human experience. What determines the difference? The energetic vibration you emit through your thoughts, conditioned and limited beliefs, actions, words, and choices.  Our vibrations radiate either from ego or spirit. You can read Tolle or Chopra, carry every crystal Earth has to offer, and yoga your way through the week, but when you judge others, harbor resentment against those who’ve hurt you, or wallow in complaints or your story of suffering, or hold yourself in guilt, self judgment or arrogance, you are not being on a spiritual journey, nor living a spiritual life.

We are human, and we will make human mistakes.  The difference in this journey is you are CONSCIOUS of them, OWN them, and DO YOUR INNER WORK to shift that vibration. Every thought, word, opinion, attitude, action and behavior emit energy. What you think or say, quietly or verbally to yourself and/or others in complaint, judgment, criticism, hurtfulness, and intent; what you assume about other people with or without facts; and how your egoic pride lands in all of these examples exudes a vibrational energy from one of two sources: your Egoic Operating System (EOS) and/or your Spiritual Operating System (SOS).  The difference between being on a spiritual journey and being and living the spiritual journey is vast; and that gap reflects how shallow or deep we are willing to go into understanding the spiritual truth of who we are.

As to “why” everyone disappeared, people bail upon realizing that going deep within involves getting messy with their human shit –that “baggage” we tote around in the Egoic Operation System that keeps us safe and comfortable in what we believe about who we are. Mucking around in our Egoic crap doesn’t appeal to anyone because it means owning responsibility for their experiences, their current circumstances or how they are showing up. Many prefer the comfort and safety of the pain and suffering of their EOS.  Those practicing an external experience of a “spiritual journey” wallpaper their Egoic Operating System with the façade of “being spiritual”, (i.e., crystals, yoga, spiritual lingo and talk) without really being on the spiritual journey. They talk the spiritual talk, but don’t walk the spiritual walk.

There is no EASY BUTTON for the spiritual journey. The Spiritual Journey is an INSIDE job at a soul and egoic level.  That INSIDE job means going through your stuff: stories, resentments, and limiting beliefs to clear and heal old wounds, past hurts, and sabotaging patterns rooted in egoic, ancestral and karmic energy. This healing opens one's Light channel in order to live in higher vibrational energy. This work means you must be willing to look at your hard-wired truths about yourself, instilled by key figures in your life and your own Egoic-based personal experiences.

But hold on! Our Egoic Operation System doesn’t want to lose its job! Attached to keeping us safe, it DEMANDS control in the human experience, and the spiritual journey of inner healing work threatens the Ego: what we believe about ourselves; the willingness to be open and vulnerable; the idea of asking and needing help, and more importantly; surrendering the stories we’ve come to identify and wrap around ourselves like cozy blankets. Like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, breaking through the EOS to the SOS side isn’t easy. And we cannot travel this journey alone. We must be supported by a teacher, mentor or coach who has successfully traveled this thorny path to the other side. We need loving support to guide us safely through the initial phases of Egoic vulnerability as it yells, “Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!” We need someone to hold our hand when our Ego begs us to jump ship or leads us to the nearest exit ramp off the spiritual journey.  The Ego strives for control through self-preservation.

Taking your spiritual journey to the next level and its work takes great courage, trust and faith in yourself, your Spiritual Operating System, your spiritual guides, your spiritual teacher/mentor, and spiritual tribe as you go deep into the inner work. This support lovingly calls BULLSHIT when Ego attempts to throw you off course. Few people are willing to go the distance deep within themselves to clear their sub- and unconscious stuff to become conscious to the spiritual truth of who they are. Egoic fear pushes back against their attempts to recognize their Spiritual Operating System's offer of a higher vibrational way of living consciously and competently in the spiritual journey.  The superficiality of spirituality is an EOS strategy rooted in lower vibrational energy. To walk the spiritual walk requires a Light Chaser who has an inner knowing, a willingness and the courage to walk through to the other side of Darkness. Unconscious living is painful, but I’d choose the spiritual journey through Unconsciousness to become Conscious all over again, because it liberates us from holding ourselves prisoner in the Egoic Cocoon.

Consider talking your spiritual awakening to the next vibrational level and be willing to recognize, reveal and radiate Spiritual Light in this world being and living the spiritual journey!

Carolyn is offering Owensboro's first spiritual development program, 

the Empath and Intuitive Mentoring Program that supports those new to the spiritual path to go deeper on the spiritual journey of conscious practice and living. 

For more information and an application, please contact Carolyn at journeywisdomcoaching@gmail.com.  Program applications due April 27th. First class is May 4th.  

Lessons from Falling Off a Horse

I recently took a spill off a horse named Pride. 

Pride is a tall, strong dark beauty, a steed that keeps me safe, high and mighty above all others who do not understand or see my way of thinking. Pride held me high within self-righteousness, above and beyond others and their hearts. But when enough hearts collectively feel hurt and anger, they come together as one to speak loudly against Injustice, the weapon that threatens the life of a mighty steed such as Pride.

Once on the ground and licking my wounds, feeling victimized and unappreciated, I protested because I knew I was right and they were wrong. I attempted to stand and remount Pride, taking offense and placing blame on everyone else. Pride huffed, stomping the ground with her hoof over the injustice, standing by to protect me as I found excuses and reasons for being thrown off my high horse. But in protecting me, Pride over zealously dealt a few blows, rearing in protest, knocking me down again as I attempted to stand against the perceived injustices. The harder I fought them, the harder Pride fought too, until her efforts to defend delivered a final blow; knocking me out, leaving me breathless and helpless in the muck and mire of the cold hard truth. If I stood once more, Pride would continue to fight, and ultimately, I would be battered and defeated. I realized then, until I sent Pride away, I would never recover from my fall.

We all have a high horse named Pride that misleads us into believing we are safely rooted in what we believe is the truth and that which we are unwilling to yield. A truth we are unwilling to acknowledge the remotest possibility that we could be wrong. A truth that tightly reins in our belief to make us feel okay; just within our choices, our behaviors, our actions, despite leaving others feeling hurt and unfairly treated. Pride allows us to sit tall, above all and others, protected from lowering ourselves to the level of those we’ve hurt, disappointed or upset. She keeps us from looking at these individuals and seeing their points of view, their perception of who we’ve been or what we’ve done through their own eyes. Pride protects us from realizing how we made others feel less than, misled, and worthless.  From this “above it all” mount, we take comfort in the unwillingness, even a reluctance to admit wrongdoing. Admitting we are wrong is tied to our sense of self-worth, because if we admit we are wrong, we perceive ourselves as weak. Pride protects us from coming down to a ground level and recognizing our weaknesses through the eyes of others.

Muddied, bruised and exhausted in my fight to get back into Pride's saddle, I finally realized through the eyes of those around me, I was wrong. I had been harsh, impatient and demanding towards those who felt unjustly treated. I thanked Pride, smacked her hindquarter, and sent her on her way, choosing to stand on the ground with those I had wronged so I may see myself through their eyes. I placed myself in their hearts, their shoes, and witnessed from their perspective how I had treated them. Only then did I realize I had stood in similar shoes during my lifetime with other authority figures, gently reminded how unjustly treated I had felt.

With this newfound perspective, I began the healing process of restoring my relationships with these individuals, as well as myself. I practiced the five languages of an apology (Gary Chapman) and humbled myself to accept responsibility for my actions with the promise to move among them rather than ride high above them. I apologized – not with a superficial “I’m sorry” but with heartfelt recognition of how I made them feel and by acknowledging my faults and mistakes. And more importantly, I asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness removes the barrier created by the offense and opens the door to restoring trust between two people, and thus the relationship. Without genuine contrition, without forgiveness, one may be able to move on from the experience, but the relationship may never be restored to its original dynamic.

Sitting high and mighty cost me the trust, respect and love of those I hurt. I now ride a beautiful white thoroughbred named Grace. With Grace, I ride alongside others, rather than above them, With Grace, I am connecting more deeply with them, deeply restoring our relationships. And now, I move through the process of forgiving myself.  By doing so, I allow myself to deepen a connection with myself, and God in a healthier, loving and self-respecting way. Grace keeps me grounded in God. Without her, my relationship with God, myself, and others would be forever diminished.