Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go!

It's a New Year and I sincerely hope you all safely and joyously celebrated! I bless and thank 2011 for all it provided so I may prepare to move forward in excitement and anticipation for 2012.

If you read my last post, you know I did some serious “shedding” in 2011. The year facilitated stripping myself of Egoic pride, and surrendering completely to the guidance and flow of God in my life. A few months ago in a phone conversation with my former spiritual teacher, I explained I felt like I'd spent most of 2011 “waking up” from a really bad dream. She gently stated, “Carolyn, you've been grieving for the last two years, and you're coming out of it.” It never occurred to me I was in a grief for over two years; I mean, I felt better about my mom's passing, though I still had moments. But when I stopped to ponder Deb's words, I grieved many losses that started before my mom's death, and that I continued to experience since through 2011.

Worse, I was making major decisions from that place of grief! I remember reading somewhere you are not to make any major decisions for a year after a loved one passes. Well, I certainly didn't listen to that sage advice! I moved to Evansville to be closer to a man I'd just met only a few months before and had agreed to marry. I started a new business, offering holistic, metaphysical services in an area unfamiliar with such concepts. I made poor financial decisions; I renegotiated my values for friendships. In hindsight, and gratefully I look back laughing at the whirlwind that was my life. While I wasn't so amused last summer, now I can laugh when I look back at the last three years thanks to a healing process, and jestfully ask myself: What were you thinking?!? And damn, if you didn't have some cahonas!

That wild and crazy ride had its good stuff too!! I met some amazingly warm and welcoming business people in Evansville (Rainmakers) who supported me despite not fully understanding what it was I did! I shared some fun, pee-in-your-pants laughter, and memorable times with classmates in a few wild and haphazard adventures. I had the honor to serve some incredible clients through my business, Healing Life Energy. I familiarized myself and connected within the community of Evansville, Indiana where I called home for nineteen months. I came home and reconnected with Owensboro, Kentucky, and my extended family members and acquaintances of the past. I am employed and in service to a wonderful non-profit organization serving to empower others, a mission resonating with my heart's own desire. And I'm closer to my father, committed to serving him in his aging years, and more importantly, restoring and healing my relationship with him.

For the first time in over three years, I feel like my life is in alignment, and I am exactly where I am suppose to be right now. In 2009, I made decisions out of emotion. In 2010, I made decisions both emotionally and intellectually. In 2011, my Spirit's voice broke through the clutter that was my life so I may truly recognize and know my heart. Upon my decision to return to Owensboro, everything felt right in that moment in my heart, in my soul. My “head” argued to convince me not to walk away from all that I'd achieved, none of which left me feeling happy or fulfilled. A weight released, the burden of carrying/wearing a plan, perhaps even a facade, as designed by the Human Ego.

The feeling of inner certainty, an absolute knowing within of God's plan broke through the chaos that was my life when I opened myself up to listen. Once the message was received and accepted, when I surrendered to it, allowed myself to be in the flow of Life, things began to shift in my favor. All I had to do was be present, surrender, open myself up to receive, and allow.

I regret nothing of these last three years. All of it I value, despite how things ended, that things ended as they did. I wouldn't trade it because now, I know what it feels like to swim against the current. And I now know what it feels like to swim completely in the flow of Life. Now, it's easier. Joyous. Peaceful. Harmonious. Stress-free.

Yes, I'm excited about my life and 2012, and through this blog, I will share that excitement and all the year brings forth in my experience. I'm awake! I'm centered! I'm clear! I'm ready!

Riding Out the Storms

How much can you take of what life gives you? How many blows can you take? Knock downs? Are you willing to get back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward? Are you able to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and take another step into the winds of change that seem, nay, feel like they are working against you?

The Tri-State area has endured of late some seriously stormy weather that has knocked people's spirits down, never mind their trees, and homes. Many of us have felt Mother Nature working against us as we were continuously pummeled day after day with storms. It’s been tiring; wearing; annoying; frustrating, and; exasperating. It’s been what it’s been.

Life shells out its own kind of storms – financial, relationship, marital, job-, health- or family-related. Gray clouds of discouragement gather around us, leaving us to feel as if no sun can ever shine through again. Rough winds blow in unwanted climate change with such intensity, of such uncertainty that you struggle to keep your footing when standing against them. Lightning flashes of reality offers within the stormy situation such brutal clarity that change is coming, that it’s here, and moving through whether you like it or not. Claps of thunder hammer home the reality, relentlessly rumbling its truth through you to the core. And the rain torrentially pours around you, drowning you as the emotion of it all floods over you, leaving you feeling helpless and out of control.

How do we weather the storms that Mother Nature and Life send our way? One storm at a time, that’s how. Mother Nature sends one storm at a time; we’ve been blessed over the last two weeks to have a break between them: to assess any damage, evaluate what happened, recover and deal with it, and become better prepared as we anxiously awaited the next forecasted storm moving in on us. Life sends us one storm at a time, and as in those Mother Nature imparts, we can feel pummeled. In Life’s storms, we must ride them out one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. We must evaluate what’s at hand, assess collateral damage, determine the best plan of action in dealing with it, then take the necessary steps to implement recovery with focus and determination. Life may send more than one storm at a time, and in this case, we must measure the severity of each storm, prioritize how and what we deal with first, then multi-task the necessary steps to move through them.

In storms of both Mother Nature and Life, the one thing we must always remember and never forget is to have faith as we ride these storms out. Faith in that Higher Power to guide us, protect us and support us as we move through these storms. We must remember to trust that these storms make us stronger, and help us more deeply discover who we are and a strength we never even imagined we had. We must remember that we are not alone but supported in either type of storm; even under the darkest cloud of seemingly impending doom, we have support that’s only one reach away, one request for help away. We must remember to know hope in order to keep hope alive that all will be okay, even better after the storms have passed.

Storms are never pleasant but what we can always count on, despite the number of days we endure these relentless storms, the Sun is always shining on the other side of those dark looming clouds. It’s always there. If we can remember this important fact during the dark and stormy nights of severe weather and Life’s challenges, we then truly embrace a knowing of faith, trust, support and hope.

Please join me in sending Love and offering up prayers for all those in the Tri-state area plagued by flooding and storm damage, and especially for those victims of tornados that blew through the South last week.

For more information how you can help support those in recovery from Mother Nature's storms, please visit http://www.evansvilleredcross.org/.