Life is a Box of SHI(f)Ts

It has been a while since my last blog post. I haven't felt the call to write. I haven't felt the space to write. The Universe is opening that space, urging me to open my Third Eye, and challenging me in the latest shift of my Life. Read more below.

You never know what Life has planned for you.  It all seems set, the path determined, and then the God comes in like Emeril and goes BAM! And suddenly you’re on a new path, a detour on which to
travel.

My "determined" path was mapped out as follows:  Move to Owensboro to take care of mom, then after a brief stay in Evansville/Newburgh, return to Owensboro to take care dad. Live in Owensboro until that time comes to pass when Dad himself passes to a better Life, and no longer needs me.

Yet a new path has been assigned and I’m in this weird space of uncertainty.  I really hate that space, don’t you?  It means decisions have to be made, and then doubts come up, the ones repressed by what you thought was your path determined, a life defined. 

• Doubts that beg the questions of what, when, where, how.
• Doubts that command I let go and let God do the figuring out of things.
• Doubts that have to be silenced so I may listen, and clearly hear the intuitive guidance of my Highest self.
• Doubts that stir impatience within, the need to know NOW, the need to know the answers so the waves of anxiety created by the tide of uncertainty can calm, ease the breathlessness, the knots in the stomach.

I have felt an uneasiness since summer. I have sensed major changes and a shift making its way since early fall.  And in that knowing, I have felt myself spiraling downward into an eddy of uncertainty and anxiety.  Everything around me, that which I felt confident and certain began imploding into a mass destruction of complacency.  I really should’ve known not to become complacent, because when you do, it is like Emeril’s frying pan over the head – BAM! You aren’t ready for it, even in the knowing and sensing something was coming.

The whacks upside the head came one at a time.  

BAM! - The overwhelming sense of depression, hopelessness, along with the questions of why bother with life.  

BAM! - A realization that I had not been myself lately at work, and was struggling with how to address it.

BAM! - The blindside confirming my realizations, but through the sense of feeling utterly thrown under the bus of just how awful person I had become in my stress-induced life of hopelessness and depression.

BAM! - Believing I couldn’t feel and go any lower, my sole/soul purpose for returning to Owensboro – my father – must move two hours east where he will be safer, and ultimately happier. 

God had a plan and a hand in each and every one of these unexpected mayhem experiences to ensure I return to the purpose driven path I am meant to travel during this life experience of mine.

Now in Owensboro, I am standing in the intersection of “Well Shit” and “Now What?” God is inviting me to revisit my God-given healing and intuitive gift which I uncovered and discovered while in Colorado; this gift I chose to walk away from and shut down six years ago out of fear. I am being asked to open my Third Eye again for others, wider and more willingly than before; to see beyond what is, and to share this gift with others. I’m gulping as I lean into this uncertainty, trusting and knowing God and my spirit guides shall provide clarity and guidance. I forgot how incredibly exasperating, yet humorous a ride these SHIfTs can be. It’s been a while.

I’m buckling my seat belt and hanging on. See ya on the other side.

Facebook: Reality Soap Opera

Growing up, many of you and your mothers watched soap operas. I and several college dorm mates even scheduled classes around All my Children so we never missed it.  Most soap operas are a thing of the past, with only one or two still on daytime TV. Others faded into their serial sunset or went 21^st Century tech with web broadcasts. Wonder why?

My theory is because of Facebook. Where can you get better real life drama? We watched the relationship dramas of Erica Kane, the vengeful wrath of the Cassadines, and the mental troubles of Vicki/Nicki daily, because it made us feel better about our own lives! We felt better knowing there were worse love relationship issues, greater dysfunction within families, and more serious health and mental problems than our own.

Today, Facebook has become reality’s soap opera. We post daily, myself included (*) about whatever is going on in our lives, good or bad. This social media connects us to each other with people we haven’t seen in forever, but wondered about often. Instead of the drama and celebrations of Landview or Pine Valley, we have the good, the bad and the ugly posted all over Facebook.

How has Facebook replaced the good old days of daily soaps?

General Hospital. You know where I’m going here – the daily postings of loved ones and friends who are sick, who are in the hospital, asking for prayers.* Some Facebook extremists post god-awful photos of their loved ones right out of surgery, swollen with tubes coming out of every orifice while unconscious! We “check in” to Urgent Care, the ER, or the doctor’s office, alerting others all is not well. We post when we are under the weather, taken a fall*, or been in an accident. We share news of loved ones struggling with long-term illness, and/or the loss of loved ones who pass unexpectedly. We seek empathy, sympathy, and prayers. Facebook is often where I learn about this news for people I care about, and in need of prayer and support. I’ve opened it up countless times to learn a friend has passed or struggling with health issues. Facebook keeps us informed, and this is how it’s become General Hospital.

All My Children. Baby pics. First day of school pics. Prom pics. Graduation pics. We share our pride and joy, our sorrows and heartbreaks, our worries about our kids on Facebook.. Those of us who don’t have two-legged children share news about our four-legged children* with pet photos, news of their transition, health concerns, and their antics too.  On the flip side, we also see the ugly side of parenting: the ungrateful and disrespectful kiddos by parents who struggle with their relationships, or the choices of their offspring. Facebook brings us news of All our Children.

 One Life to Live. These Facebook posts share our successes, our feats, and accomplishments that make us most proud of. Vacation adventures*, Iron Man or 3K finishes, or goals achieved such as new jobs* and weight loss. Posts also include selfies with celebrities,* or experiences of hob-nobbing. While these posts are upbeat and fun to see, sometimes many interpret these crossing that fine line of bragging, depending on the interpretation of the reader. Regardless, these Facebook posts share how people seize the One Life they Live.

The Bold and the Beautiful. Selfies of varying kinds.* Family portraits. Dress up pics. The selfies we do for profile photos, but most take this practice to a whole new level of mirror shots, car shots,* and modeled shots. There is the lips-puckered selfie,* the reflective selfie, the new doo selfie,* and the mug shot selfie. And don’t forget the group selfies* comprised of two or more people (or pets*) out on the town, having a good time or hanging out. Family portraits portray perfection of unity, and don’t forget the self-esteem selfies when we are feeling good about looking good.  These are the lives of the Bold and the Beautiful.

Days of our Lives. Check-ins at restaurants. Mood reports. Work outs at the gym. Doctor appointments. Spiritual/Religious pats on the back. School pick-up of kids. Work updates. We post highlights of the day, pics of our meals,* and commutes to work. We keep people informed about how our day is going or has gone, what’s great or not great about our day and week.* Facebook helps us connect socially with people, and provides us a venue to vent about what is going well or not so well in the Days of our Lives.

Facebook is the social media stage in which life and all its dramas and joys unfolds. I didn’t address the political posts, videos shares, memes and other such things we see daily on this social forum. Facebook has blazed a new type of reality soap opera, and despite it’s good, bad and ugly, it keeps us connected with people we haven’t seen in forever, barely know, and people who know who we know.

For all its annoyances, Facebook is equally good. It is a drama zone but we as Facebookers own responsibility in how much drama we create, not only on social media, but in our own lives. 

Let’s make the most of the days of our lives in the one life that we live, live boldly and beautiful, unconditionally raise all our children, and stay healthy and out of the general hospital.

*Guilty