Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Life by our Design

Can we really design our life? I say YES we can!

I once believed that I was at the mercy of Life. Some of this came from a Catholic upbringing and hearing that as long as I pleased God, I would be rewarded; of course if I didn’t, I would be punished. Well-meaning as this teaching is, I learned that I didn’t deserve the goodness of God unless I proved my worth, my value. I also lived in a place of victimization believing that bad things happening to me was punishment from God. I (and so many of us do) hosted pity parties because my life wasn’t going the way I wanted it, people “did” things to me, and I had no control. I wallowed in this self-pity and placed myself in the category of “helpless.”

But when I came to understand God as a loving Source that desires us to experience all of God’s Goodness, I began to let go of the “stinking thinking” that I did deserved to be in the mess I was in. I made choices that created my mess – choices that didn’t serve me well, and as a result, unconsciously manifested less than desirable results: lack of financial flow, unfulfilling jobs, unhealthy relationships. Unwittingly, I chose to accept these as the “best” that God had to offer me, but in fact, I created these less than desirable circumstances because it is what I believed God believed I was worthy of having.

I couldn’t have been further from the truth and if you are thinking the same way, please stop! God loves us and provides for us, unconditionally. We can drive ourselves to insanity if we keep choosing to live life by what we think God wants us to do. Rather, God wants us to live our life based on what we want to do; there is divine guidance that propels us into a spiritual calling of service in some capacity. Lawyers serve; doctors serve; trash collectors serve. Our contributions, no matter how large or small, significantly contribute. But we are called to expand our willingness to serve in a greater way and more importantly, to receive more of the infinite possibilities of how to live this expanded life of goodness! When we open up to YES in our lives, to receiving more of the infinite abundance God has to offer, we begin to attract that into our experience. But we must open up to it; we must want it and we must believe it is ours to have. If we live from a place of self-pity, helplessness, a belief system of lack, unworthiness or that we’re not good enough in God’s or anyone else’s eyes, we shall forever block the flow God’s Goodness.

After having several unsuccessful relationships over the last eleven years, I began to see my heart’s yearning for true love as a lost cause. Stopping this pity party before it even began, I consciously reviewed these relationships and learned from them – what I wanted, didn’t want and what I knew I deserved. From here, I began creating a relationship with my Beloved by my own design. I affirmed he was out there through affirmative prayer, outlining who he was as an expression of God. I believed this man already in my life, “talking” to him once in a while, feeling him close to me as I lie in bed, and visualizing my day to day activities as if he was by my side. For a full year, I committed to this design I created, believing it and living it within myself. I'd done a great deal of relationship healing prior to this time, but it was through this exercise towards clarity that I was able to identify what I truly wanted. Today my Beloved exists in physical form and I’m starting a wonderful new life with him. I continue to affirm our relationship as perfect expression of God and all that God is – love, joy, harmony, peace, abundance, wisdom. I powerfully manifested him, and I didn’t have to work that hard to find him. He presented himself to me but I took the necessary steps to carry forward this manifestation into reality. And I’ve never been happier, or more in love with anyone in my entire life.

What do you want to design in your life? Believe that you can do this! But be clear on what you want. Without clarity, you will attract and create a whole mess of things if you’re not careful. Believe it or not, we each are very powerful in this ability to manifest that which we desire, in the negative or positive direction. If you’re not sure what you want but that you want something different, get help sorting through all the possibilities so you can clearly define what that is. It was through the support of my Spiritual Life Coach that I was able to recognize that I am employed by God as “God’s Building Contractor” of my Life. I’ve had a few remodels in this lifetime, but let me tell you that with each remodel, God’s House greatly expands to offer more meaningful and greater experiences.

Is your Life due for a remodel?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Reflections in the Silence

I’m currently at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, Kentucky, just outside of Bardstown on a “silent” retreat; I’m unsure if it’s considered truly silent if I am sharing my thoughts through this venue. But in the silence, the opportunity provides one a means in which to get away from the noisy business of everyday life to really listen, to God from Within.

Most of the areas at the Abbey are designated as silent areas, including the Retreat House hallways, rooms, stairwells, dining areas (with the exception of one), library and outdoor areas where marked; retreat guests can not even use their cell phones in their rooms. Guests arrive after 11 a.m. on a Friday or a Monday and stay through the following Monday or Friday, respectively. Meals are provided three times a day, and all of this is offered by the monks for a love offering of whatever means you are able. Additionally, the monks maintain a daily schedule of services, in which they sing, chant and offer the Eucharist, in addition to their other responsibilities. Retreat guests may also enjoy over 2000 acres of walking paths in nature, though I believe this weekend, many of us will not stray too far from the warmth of the Retreat House!

I’d heard many wonderful things about this place, and originally called in late September with the hopes of being able to “get away” shortly after my mother passed. But everyone else must've heard wonderful things too, as the Abbey was booked through 2009 with this weekend of January being the first available to reserve. I trusted the Divine timing, and decided to use this weekend as a time to reflect on 2009, a ritual I do annually in order to truly appreciate all that I accomplished, overcame and learned throughout the year. I usually take time to decide what my new year will look like.

I will most definitely reflect on the year past, and from it glean much appreciation of my courage, strength, authenticity, and perseverance, as well as my successes and my losses. Yes, appreciation in the losses is important to find for it is in the closing of doors that other new opportunities are opened. In honoring those experiences, we open ourselves to receive greater good in our lives. In releasing unproductive energies of anger, resentment, we find peace through forgiveness, not simply of others but also of ourselves for our choices. And if we are all striving for peace on Earth, then let it begin with each of us, right? It’s a simple choice, but one that takes great courage to do.

As for planning 2010, well, I had a plan for 2009 and that really didn't turn out so great. Goes to show that sometimes, God presents detours that take us in a different direction, regardless of our best laid plans. Instead, I will continue living as I have lived the latter half of 2009 - one day at a time and in the moment. I have a sense of my direction - this Guidance has been given to me. But I am stepping back from being attached to how it all needs to look, and what exactly I must be doing to make all that happen. I'm tuned in more than ever to that Divine Guidance and even, sometimes to my Gemini annoyance, when I don't know "what's next," I always know that when it's time to be revealed, I'll get it. I've learned to trust and pay attention to when Divine Clarity is revealed. It's through this surrendering to the flow of the Universe working in my life that leaves me living my life in awe. The power of God working through us is amazing if we can simply let go and let God.

Here's to silence; may we find more of it in our life, if its only for five minutes a day. Let God talk to you. And simply listen.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Out with the Old, In with the New

Happy New Year! I’ve not posted in a while as I’ve hunkered down to get through the holidays. I for one am very excited to say farewell to 2009 – all of it. What a ride! And it sucked many times, and yet, if I stop and REALLY look at it, I can find SO much joy in it too. Don’t stay stuck on what wasn’t great about the year, but look between the illusions and see what good stuff showed up. Despite having lost a parent, a job and a home, I enjoyed quality time with my mom before she passed and the smiles and love she gave me before she left this realm. I reconnected with some old high school friends who awed me with their love, support and their prayers during challenging times. I had beautiful friendship and support from my Colorado peeps that sent their healing love and light to Kentucky. I met and fell in love with a wonderful man who graced my life with patience and insurmountable support during my mother’s illness and after her death. I was given the opportunity to reinvent myself professionally, and am excited to build a practice as a Spiritual Life Coach. I have been blessed with locals who have extended their welcome in a place where I have no close friends, no spiritual community, and no extended support system nearby. I enjoyed a beautiful Kentucky summer and fall and all its Southeast flowers and birds. My family and I enjoyed the amazing support of relatives, friends and neighbors in the way of food, visits, caretaker breaks, and prayers.

I could keep going and if you look closely enough, you could too. There is nothing more thrilling to me than new beginnings; I wonder if I’m not addicted to them having been through so many major transitions in my life! But in welcoming the new, we must honor the old and what it offered in life lessons, abundance and joy, love and wisdom, for through the heartaches and challenges of the year, this is where find them, if we consciously choose to do so. If we do not honor the past year of our life, we minimize this leg of our journey, and all that we’ve come through in its travel.

Happy New Year everyone!