Fulfilling Life or BUST!

Energies are shifting right now and this is reflected in how we feel. Are you feeling tired and exhausted, more than normal? Having a hard time getting up in the mornings? Are you experiencing a sense of restlessness, or unexplained feelings of anger or irritation?

2009 was a major year for shifting, in which many of us experienced endings which lead us to new beginnings. We witnessed this globally. Some of us fought those endings; some of us didn’t have a choice in the matter. And while the endings took place, how we handled and dealt with them then and now are indicative of our willingness to shift into a higher way of living, a higher way of being.

Old patterns, old habits, old ways of doing things that haven’t served us well in the past may be causing added stress in our lives now. If we keep doing the same thing, and expecting different results each time, we create a cesspool of insanity for ourselves and for those around us. Endings happen for a reason. Regardless of the circumstances, blaming, responsibility, heartache, and the saga itself, our choices now, and before we came into this human experience, supported these endings. Our task in the human experience is to look at these transitions and learn from them: how we could’ve shown up more productively; how we may have chosen differently; what patterns or habits we may need to break; how our choices reflect our sense of self, self respect, and self-love, or worse, our self-righteousness, inner judges, self-loathing, arrogance and pride.

Just as tourist attractions teach history of a particular landmark, endings are the “human” tourist attractions in our journey to teach us about ourselves – at a human and soul level. Unfortunately, many of us just blow by these opportunities, anxious to get to a destination while forgetting we’re on a journey. We fail to realize that the information contained within these endings teach us how to how to create and enjoy a more fulfilling and gratifying journey. When we go from one experience to another without really getting intimate with our heart and soul about what happened, we live an unconscious life – one without inner awareness and self-knowing.

What endings have you dismissed or are you feeling around the bend? What transitions have you yet to fully ponder? In order to shift to a higher way of living, we must know our hearts, and to do this, we must take time to be brutally honest with ourselves and how we show up in our life: through our choices, fear, self-centeredness, actions (or inaction), habits, limiting belief systems, and judgment of self and of others. When we haphazardly move through and from one experience to another, we are simply sleepwalking in our lives. If you are feeling a growing frustration and disappointment, it is your signal to “Wake up!” Know the joy, love, peace, wisdom, abundance and creative power you already have within you to live a more fulfilling life. Know your heart’s desires. Know you are the creator of your own reality. The Great I Am, that presence of God Within, seeks to collaborate with you in your journey, to guide you towards that new experience of living a more conscious life. So let’s go! Let's post a sign on the back of our human vehicle that says "Fulfilling Life or Bust!"

Out with the Old, In with the New

Happy New Year! I’ve not posted in a while as I’ve hunkered down to get through the holidays. I for one am very excited to say farewell to 2009 – all of it. What a ride! And it sucked many times, and yet, if I stop and REALLY look at it, I can find SO much joy in it too. Don’t stay stuck on what wasn’t great about the year, but look between the illusions and see what good stuff showed up. Despite having lost a parent, a job and a home, I enjoyed quality time with my mom before she passed and the smiles and love she gave me before she left this realm. I reconnected with some old high school friends who awed me with their love, support and their prayers during challenging times. I had beautiful friendship and support from my Colorado peeps that sent their healing love and light to Kentucky. I met and fell in love with a wonderful man who graced my life with patience and insurmountable support during my mother’s illness and after her death. I was given the opportunity to reinvent myself professionally, and am excited to build a practice as a Spiritual Life Coach. I have been blessed with locals who have extended their welcome in a place where I have no close friends, no spiritual community, and no extended support system nearby. I enjoyed a beautiful Kentucky summer and fall and all its Southeast flowers and birds. My family and I enjoyed the amazing support of relatives, friends and neighbors in the way of food, visits, caretaker breaks, and prayers.

I could keep going and if you look closely enough, you could too. There is nothing more thrilling to me than new beginnings; I wonder if I’m not addicted to them having been through so many major transitions in my life! But in welcoming the new, we must honor the old and what it offered in life lessons, abundance and joy, love and wisdom, for through the heartaches and challenges of the year, this is where find them, if we consciously choose to do so. If we do not honor the past year of our life, we minimize this leg of our journey, and all that we’ve come through in its travel.

Happy New Year everyone!

Namaste.

Thanksgiving - More than Turkey and Football

The holidays are a time for family, and this year, my family will be forever altered with the absence of my mom this Thanksgiving holiday. I've missed many Thanksgivings with my family while in Colorado, and today, twinges of regret come up that I didn't make more of them. But then I remember the many wonderful Thanksgivings I've spent with families of close friends, co-workers and even acquaintances that opened their home upon learning I had no plans for the holiday. I've had the pleasure of serving others who have no means to enjoy the luxury of Thanksgiving dinner, much less a family or a place to call home. In remembering these times I was without my family, I remember how I contributed, and allowed others to contribute to the magnificence of my journey.

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir when I say that Thanksgiving is more than football, parades and turkey dinner. But I know that many miss the simplest of blessings to count. We have all, at some point in our life, done the standard expression of thanks that includes our family, our loved ones, having a job, and our health. But I challenge EVERYONE to take their blessings to a deeper level, to things that you may naturally overlook and even take for granted. Give thanks for the ability to breathe easy, walk on your own two legs, and the hands that carve your turkey. Express gratitude for the roof over your head, no matter what that looks like, for you are safe from the elements of winter weather. Give thanks for employment, regardless of how irritating your co-workers are, what grievances you have with the "powers that be;" give thanks for an income and health benefits (no matter what that looks like!!) that support your efforts to provide for your family, your well-being, and your financial needs. For those of us who are unemployed, give thanks for unemployment benefits that support us, even nominally in transition; say thank you for the part-time job, no matter what it is, and know your efforts in that help others, somehow, some way, even if it's asking "would you like fries with that?" Give thanks for those who ask you, "would you like fries with that." Express appreciation for the opportunities to figure out what's next, the support of loved ones during these times of transition, for their prayers, words of encouragement and unconditional love. Give thanks that you live in a country where you have the freedom of speech, even if it's considered misguided or disagreed with by others. Give thanks for men and women who sacrifice time with their own family to serve our country in the name of freedom. Be grateful for a government that doesn't take you jail when you speak out against it. Express gratitude for a working vehicle, running water, and working toilet. Say "thank you" for the smiling children, the unconditional love of pets, and the beauty of nature around us. Give thanks for all that you've experienced, and the learning and growth opportunities, and the ability to choose an open willing mind and heart to make changes that serve you better, despite current circumstances that seem unfair, unjust, and uncomfortable.

You get the point; dig deeper to express gratitude for the many, many things we take for granted. Dig deep within your heart; see beyond the obvious for those blessings, large and small, grand and simple. And give thanks daily, not just on Thanksgiving. For with expression of gratitude, we invite more blessings into our life. Our expression signals to God our willingness to have more abundance, our willingness to receive it.

This year, I have so much to give thanks for, despite the trials and tribulations this journey has offered. I give thanks to the many, many, many people who have said a prayer, sent emails, and love and light in support of me and my family around my mother's illness and death; you know who you are. I count my blessings in the challenges that have left me reeling, and the opportunities they afford me through the closing of so many doors. I'm grateful for the love I feel, the love I receive, and the means to manage these transitions I am experiencing. I give thanks that I was able to help my mom feel more comfortable, brighten her final days, and the honor to support her in her crossing over. I give gratitude for that Spirit within me that is God Expression. My love to you and yours, and many more blessings to feel grateful for in the coming year.

Fear: Its Effort towards Your Failure

This week, the Universe presented two amazing opportunities to me that will 1) challenge me to step up in my spiritual service to others and 2) challenge me to step up my own spiritual growth. At their appearance, I was very excited by these opportunities; however, as time moved towards the cross-point of "showing up" within these opportunities, I felt irritable, second-guessed my participation, and even questioned my spiritual guidance and knowing around their validity. The energetic feeling can be best described as "resistance" that feels thick, burdensome, and sluggish. In the days leading up to my involvement with these activities took great effort: doing dishes was a hassle, folding laundry, even eating took more energy than necessary. This slow-motion experience I call moving through the "sludge" of Ego Resistance.

At a workshop at Mile Hi Church, Maria Nimeth talked about "pushing through" the barrier of resistance when pursuing what you desire. This barrier is not unlike the one that surrounds the Earth; as astronauts travel from the Earth's atmosphere, there's a barrier that requires more energy and fire-power to break through into outer space. As we evolve in our lives, making changes to fulfill our purpose, we reach a similar energetic barrier that offers resistance; the key is recognizing the need for more energy and effort to forge ahead. The Human Ego sets up this energetic line of resistance that will do whatever it can to make it easy to simply give up, quit, or worse, convince ourselves that the benefit on the other side isn't worth breaking through to achieve.

Enters the scene: Fear. Fear appears in a variety of ways - including irritation, frustration, low/no energy, laziness, anxiety, nervousness, self-doubt, even unworthiness. These energies are Ego's defense mechanism against change, even if it's beneficial change; it's easier to stay in the "what it knows" zone.

These opportunities will propel me in my spiritual growth and in developing my spiritual business; and my human-self attempted to slow me down in the hopes of completely discouraging me. As a conscious being of Self, I can easily recognize these counterproductive energies when they show up, see through the veil of their delusion, and find inner strength to press on against the waves of resistance. No matter how many times I've encountered this barrier, I push through and in this case, the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, that is until there's another barrier to break through . . . . .

Carolyn