Marie Kondo, The Minimalists & Me

How much stuff do you have?  Clothes?  Shoes?  Knick knacks?  

What kind of things have you collected that is sitting around collecting dust?  

Or purchased products stashed for use later because they were on sale?

Shortly after losing my job, I watched a Netflix documentary called Minimalism about two guys who had it all: six-figure jobs, the latest techno stuff, gaming devices, lavish vacations, partying friends.  Then they decided they weren’t happy, so they quit their jobs and set out on a journey to finding happiness and a more meaningful life with a Minimalist Lifestyle. That involved selling or giving away all their belongings, keeping only what was essential and had a purpose, like a chair, a table, a toothbrush! They also decided to clean up their act with better diets, healthful practices, and better relationships that supported these changes.  And they also devoted their energy to promoting a movement and their story called Minimalism.

This documentary validated my guidance to put into motion what I had started: decluttering my life. Losing my job was a HUGE step in the right direction! When I began to evaluate my belongings, I felt suffocated, realizing how bogged down I felt by my stuff: clothing, sizes 8 to 2X, articles I’d worn, grew out of, or never wore with price tags still on them in the hope of “fitting into them one day.” I had a stash of Bath and Body Works products I’d bought on sale two Christmases ago that had gone from aromatic essences to stinky!  I also had TONS of Pampered Chef kitchen tools that I never used, used once or twice, or of which I had two or three that was taking up space in my cabinets and drawers.  I had six boxes of Christmas decorations – numerous strings of working lights, decorations collected since the 80’s, two or three tree skirts, oodles of cookie and candy giveaway boxes and bags, and countless spools of ribbons to make gift bows. And I don’t even have a Christmas where I exchange a lot of gifts with anyone! Then there were the boxes of file boxes of papers, journals, and writings, as well as countless folders from past classes I taught in Denver and Evansville.

Is that what people mean when they say they have baggage?  Not really but it’s a physical baggage that was weighing me and my energy down.  I started purging cabinets, drawers, closets, Rubbermaid bins, attic boxes, shelves, and any flat surface and wall for stuff I didn’t need, use, or want.  I sold stuff on Facebook, which was surprisingly successful, then did a yard sale which was a major flop due to a cold snap. The rest I donated to a local thrift store that sells and donates the profit back to local charities. That felt good to help the community AND to clear my life of over 200 articles of clothing!

I have more I would like to clear out of my life, and it is a process.  I’m not ready to let go of some sentimental items yet, but I’ll get there.  And with Marie Kondo’s help, I can really connect with what “sparks joy” as I move forward. I’m not going to the extreme of these Minimalists, and I sure don’t think I can live with only 33 items of clothing!(Project333.com if you want to learn more about that!)

• Did you know that clutter around you increases your stress levels, which lead to anxiety?
• Did you know that tolerating excessive clutter drains you of your energy?
• Did you know that when you make space – physically and mentally – in your life that you activate the Law of Attraction for greater and more meaningful things into your life?

The key is to ensure what you keep has purpose or “sparks joy.”  And be careful not to buy more stuff!  The goal is to attract more into our lives but in the form of experiences, money, opportunities, enjoyable friendships, and maybe, even a romantic relationship!

Clear your clutter, and you clear your space to breathe easier, have less things to deal with, less frustration when opening a closet or finding something you need. For me, it also means less dusting and laundry!!  Woohoo!

• What closet could you start with?
• What clothes could you share with someone who had to leave everything she owned to get away from an abusive husband?
• What kitchen items could you do without and offer to someone who lost their home to a fire?
• What do you want more of in your life that doesn’t sit in a closet, on a shelf, or in a box in the attic?

Start clearing away! Make Marie Kondo proud!

The Greatest Love of All

Ah, Valentine’s Day, a day for love. Many relish in the romance; others despise it. Personally, I was one who detested it for many years. My ex-husband asked me for a divorce on Valentine’s Day weekend fourteen years ago, thus my feud with February 14th began. I resented my ex and St. Valentine who had nothing to do with it except be guilty by association! I blamed my misery on anything related to the holiday, including those who enjoyed it. I resented the commercialism that took something pure such as love to make a profit while simultaneously “making” me feel less than because I was alone.

For many single men and women, V-Day can feel like D-Day. Hopelessness can overwhelm as we watch others in love coo like doves, relish in chocolate hearts and bling-bling, receive office floral deliveries, and enjoy romantic dinners. But our own misery is by our own design. While the focus is on couples and romance, the bottom line is that Valentine’s celebrates the love of God and for God.

The name "Valentine", derives from valens which means “worthy”; and the feast of St. Valentine was first established in 496 by Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among those “whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." Valentine was one of many Christians who were celebrated as a martyr on this feast. But for many lonely singles, we tend to cloak ourselves in martyrdom as we move through this holiday in resentment and bitterness thanks to the “wrongs” done to us by others. We root ourselves in feeling lonely and unwanted, and this space was where I resided energetically for many years hosting my very own Valentine’s Day pity party. Ironically, I, as well as many other singles that still do, missed the point of February 14 – it’s all about love. And while commercialism implies that we need someone in our lives to feel loved, this belief couldn’t be further from the truth!

We are loved!! Our Creator loves us. Our family loves us. Our friends love us. Here’s the big question: Do you love yourself? The Bible speaks of this many times, especially the point of “Love thy neighbor as yourself.” This quote demonstrates how our projection of feelings towards others is truly a mirror reflection of how we feel about ourselves; Luke, Leviticus, Matthew and Mark, to name a few, point this out. “Do onto others as you would have done onto you” is another famous quote that reflects the Law of Circulation: love another and know the love of others as well as for yourself. In this effort, we activate the Law of Attraction to bring greater love into our life. And Genesis 2:27 states that "God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Aren’t we worthy of loving ourselves as God loved us enough to create us out of his own Being? As we love ourselves, we love our Creator and its Creation. As we lovingly embrace God Within, we embrace love for ourselves.

After several years of these “pity parties” with only one actual Valentine during that time, I woke up one day and decided what a whiny butt I was being. I was exhausted, drained from the waste of time and energy in my resentment, and I knew I was better than this bitterness – it wasn’t fun or productive. So I took responsibility for my own misery, releasing all who I'd been blaming and became my own Valentine. Starting a new tradition that lasted many years, I prepared elaborate candlelight dinners that made daily frozen dinners pale in comparison; I enjoyed a glass of wine, treated myself to red roses, and listened to romantic music. I simply began a love affair with God. One year I even had flowers from a “secret admirer” sent to myself at my office; that got tongues wagging and it was a thrill and immensely fulfilling that the big secret was they were from the Greatest Love of my life.

For those alone on this day of romance, be your own Valentine! Celebrate love of self; as the word Valentine reflects, you are worthy! And for those with Valentine’s, consider taking it to a richer level that reflects God’s love expressing more fully through you both, everyday beyond this one day of chocolates, bling-bling, and romantic dinners.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

Thanksgiving - More than Turkey and Football

The holidays are a time for family, and this year, my family will be forever altered with the absence of my mom this Thanksgiving holiday. I've missed many Thanksgivings with my family while in Colorado, and today, twinges of regret come up that I didn't make more of them. But then I remember the many wonderful Thanksgivings I've spent with families of close friends, co-workers and even acquaintances that opened their home upon learning I had no plans for the holiday. I've had the pleasure of serving others who have no means to enjoy the luxury of Thanksgiving dinner, much less a family or a place to call home. In remembering these times I was without my family, I remember how I contributed, and allowed others to contribute to the magnificence of my journey.

I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir when I say that Thanksgiving is more than football, parades and turkey dinner. But I know that many miss the simplest of blessings to count. We have all, at some point in our life, done the standard expression of thanks that includes our family, our loved ones, having a job, and our health. But I challenge EVERYONE to take their blessings to a deeper level, to things that you may naturally overlook and even take for granted. Give thanks for the ability to breathe easy, walk on your own two legs, and the hands that carve your turkey. Express gratitude for the roof over your head, no matter what that looks like, for you are safe from the elements of winter weather. Give thanks for employment, regardless of how irritating your co-workers are, what grievances you have with the "powers that be;" give thanks for an income and health benefits (no matter what that looks like!!) that support your efforts to provide for your family, your well-being, and your financial needs. For those of us who are unemployed, give thanks for unemployment benefits that support us, even nominally in transition; say thank you for the part-time job, no matter what it is, and know your efforts in that help others, somehow, some way, even if it's asking "would you like fries with that?" Give thanks for those who ask you, "would you like fries with that." Express appreciation for the opportunities to figure out what's next, the support of loved ones during these times of transition, for their prayers, words of encouragement and unconditional love. Give thanks that you live in a country where you have the freedom of speech, even if it's considered misguided or disagreed with by others. Give thanks for men and women who sacrifice time with their own family to serve our country in the name of freedom. Be grateful for a government that doesn't take you jail when you speak out against it. Express gratitude for a working vehicle, running water, and working toilet. Say "thank you" for the smiling children, the unconditional love of pets, and the beauty of nature around us. Give thanks for all that you've experienced, and the learning and growth opportunities, and the ability to choose an open willing mind and heart to make changes that serve you better, despite current circumstances that seem unfair, unjust, and uncomfortable.

You get the point; dig deeper to express gratitude for the many, many things we take for granted. Dig deep within your heart; see beyond the obvious for those blessings, large and small, grand and simple. And give thanks daily, not just on Thanksgiving. For with expression of gratitude, we invite more blessings into our life. Our expression signals to God our willingness to have more abundance, our willingness to receive it.

This year, I have so much to give thanks for, despite the trials and tribulations this journey has offered. I give thanks to the many, many, many people who have said a prayer, sent emails, and love and light in support of me and my family around my mother's illness and death; you know who you are. I count my blessings in the challenges that have left me reeling, and the opportunities they afford me through the closing of so many doors. I'm grateful for the love I feel, the love I receive, and the means to manage these transitions I am experiencing. I give thanks that I was able to help my mom feel more comfortable, brighten her final days, and the honor to support her in her crossing over. I give gratitude for that Spirit within me that is God Expression. My love to you and yours, and many more blessings to feel grateful for in the coming year.

Finding Gratitude in Challenging Times

We’ve all had times when we are just feeling dumped on by life’s experiences. We even get dumped on by other’s less than productive life experiences, which if we are not careful, can energetically take us down with them in the lower vibration whirlpool.

Making a concerted effort to look at what’s right in our life can help us shift up our feelings; finding something for which to be grateful every day will shift relatively quickly those lower vibrations of lack, victimization, fear, upset, anger, blame, and limitation. Whether you have lost a loved one through death or divorce, lost or hate a job, got caught up in someone else’s bad day, lost financial footing, or are generally feeling lost in your life, how we productively or unproductively move through these experiences create our future experiences, moving forward. When we focus on what’s wrong with our lives, what’s missing, and what should have, could have or would have been only sends us spiraling further downward into a sinkhole of lower vibration, the Muck Zone, which then activates attraction of even more “crap” and “loss” into our life.

Rather than spending energy pondering, wallowing, and living in what’s not right with our lives, we must shift our focus on what we have to be grateful for within it. Personally, there have been moments in my life where all I could muster in gratitude was that I was breathing, my dogs were healthy, I had $3 dollars in the bank, I have my eyesight and hearing, and the sun is shining. Finding more gratitude became a stretch, but with focused and conscious effort to appreciate what was good in my life, I began to feel better (raise my vibrations) and release the mucky feelings (lower vibrations) around my life’s challenges. An “attitude of gratitude” shifts the energy to a higher vibration of what’s good, which then leads to gradually attracting greater good into life.

The Universe knows the difference between lip service and genuine feelings of gratitude. Though when in the pits of despair, it may feel silly to be grateful that the light bulbs work or that you have a full head of hair, truly appreciating what we’ve got going for us honors the presence of God’s goodness in our life, and opens us up to receiving more. We must truly believe in that which we have going for us; as we build that momentum of thankfulness, we feel positive shifts in our vibrations, and unproductive energies release to make room for more enjoyable and meaningful opportunities.

We sweat the small stuff of what’s not right too much; honor the small stuff that’s good in our life. These small building blocks lead to building a greater foundation for goodness that we yearn and deserve in our life. Shifting out of a bad attitude into one of gratitude keeps us focused in the present, and begins the process of creating a more positive future, one moment at a time.

Don’t just “think” gratitude, but write those things for which you are grateful down in a notebook or journal to make it concrete and real to the human Ego which generates our lower vibrating emotions. Start with ten expressions of gratitude, keeping them short and sweet: I’ve got a job. Met a nice woman standing in the grocery line. Had calm conversation with the ex. The following week, bump the list up to fifteen expressions and be amazed at how easy it is to do.

Keeping a daily Gratitude Journal is a good meditative practice, even when things are going good, for we keep open the possibilities of even greater abundance through continuous gratitude. Gratitude helps us clear our head of life’s icky appearances and opens our eyes to seeing our situations with a healthier perspective, which facilitates productive problem-solving and the healing of our hearts around the experience.

I am grateful for you reading my Blog. I am grateful to serve as a messenger of Spirit. I am grateful for my life and all its experiences, and to know more deeply my Spiritual Truth of I Am. Namaste.

Love and Light.