God's Got Your Back - Let Go(d)

Ever focus so intensely on an event or a project in your life that when it was over,

you suddenly felt out of sorts? Confused? Even lost?

My focus the first five months of 2013 centered on seeing my dad through the selling of his home and belongings, and moving him into a personal care home. Having completed that, I suddenly felt disoriented in my life. I experienced a restless feeling as I faced the daunting question, “What next?”

It was an exciting, yet frightening time. My soul leapt with joy at the infinite possibilities of creating a new adventure in my life. My Egoic Self kept saying, “Oh, shit!”   In time, and with meditation, I relaxed into trusting that clarity would make itself known. One day while meditating, I saw before me a blank canvas: fresh, white and ready to be painted. In one corner I saw my father, reminding me of my commitment of service to him through his final years.  The rest was empty, yet filled with so much potential for abundance and possibilities.

“That's it?” my Egoic Self whined. Ever the doer in action, the Overachiever in me began chomping at the bit to fill in the blank space. The brainstorm of ideas popped as my Gemini mind raced in hundreds of directions. A quiet loving request from Spirit Within asked me to be patient (the Life lesson at that time) and allow myself to be open, to relax in the moment and into the flow of Universal possibilities. With deep breaths, my Egoic Self agreed to be comfortable with the uncertainty, and to trust it was temporary.  Within my meditative space, clarity slowly revealed the message loud and clear: “Write. It's time to take your writing to the next level.” I wasn't surprised, but a sudden moment of fear seized me as my Egoic Self started her familiar mantra of  “oh shit, oh shit, OH shit!” again.

 

She really cracks me up sometimes!

I've been writing since I was a little girl. In meditations, I've seen myself as a published author read by millions, and my speaking to crowds who come to hear me speak about my books. This startling vision first appeared in 2006. Ten years earlier, a psychic reading revealed I needed to take my writing more seriously. The messenger asked (through my reader) why I wasn't writing more. At the end of 2008, I stepped into writing by starting this blog. Little did I realize how opening that creative channel would serve as a therapeutic outlet for me while my mom was dying. I believe everything happens in Divine timing; and now, my Higher Self gently informed me its time for my writing fingers to hit the keyboard.

God always knows what we need, and provides us with whatever we need as long as we believe it and are open to receiving. A few weeks after clarity revealed itself, an article about an upcoming Christian writer's conference in Elizabethtown was in our local paper. “Well, how about that!” my Egoic self said in awe. I signed up for the Saturday portion of the weekend conference. Boy, did I come to realize there is a whole lot more to writing and getting published!  After breathing into a brown paper bag to recover from information overload, I had clarity on what I needed to do next.  If I wanted to be taken seriously as a writer, and be published, I needed to hone my craft.  Alas, I stumbled across a delightful book about the nuts and bolts of good writing.  I also find a fabulous email subscription that sends invaluable daily writing tips. Thank you Spirit! The hungry writer within me feasted on this newfound information.

  

Two weeks later, I stumble across another newspaper article about a writers' group that meets at the library. “Well, if that don't beat all!” my Egoic Self thought in amazement. I inquired about the group, and attended the first meeting.  I received positive and constructive feedback on a piece I wrote for this very blog.  I also met a fellow writer and kindred spirit ready and willing to offer support!

A few weeks later, a friend shares the business card of a local woman who owns an international company that offers up-and-coming authors support!  Additionally, she provides a platform upon which authors may receive meaningful feedback on their books designed to boost publishing success. “Holy cow and WOW!” my Egoic Self says, finally convinced that all is in Divine order.  I meet this gal next month.

Now I have to write that book!! I never believed in writer's block until recently when the flow of words seemed to go dry. With both human and divinely-guided nudges, I finally sat down and made myself write. Anything! The block broke, and the words are flowing again. During my silent retreat, my inner guidance asked me to write thirty minutes a day, or four hours a week. So far, I've met that request, and am mainly writing for this blog.  I also write those words that ring in my head at 3 a.m. in the morning!   I am patiently waiting for clarity around the outline, the content I'm to write for my book. I have many ideas, not unusual for the Gemini brain.  I relax in the knowing that I am the conduit for the Divine, channeling the written word for my blog.  So shall I trust and know the Divine guidance for my book. I simply wait again for clarity, trusting that God knows what I need and will provide it when its time.

Once we align our Soul with our passion; make the commitment to fulfill it; and then, fully commit to it in Spirit, thought, emotion, and action, God provides whatever we need to move us along in making it a reality. We only need to relax into the flow of Universal Spirit.  We also must recognize and participate in the Divine-supplied opportunities when they appear. The opportunities I describe above found their way to me. I simply set the intention, and opened myself to receive God's touch and winks, which reassure me I am on the right track.

 

 

 

When we relax in the Divine knowing, and trust God has our back

in support of our highest vision and dream,

we give the Universe room to work magic and miracles in our lives.

 

Author's Note:  If you are interested in discovering how to align your spirit, thoughts, feeling and choices so that you are stepping more fully into living your authentic life and desires, you're invited to attend a FREE information session called Infinite Possibilities this Friday evening, August 30, from 6 - 8 p.m. in Owensboro, KY.  For more information and/or to reserve your seat, please contact Carolyn at journeywisdomblog@gmail.com.

Fulfilling Life or BUST!

Energies are shifting right now and this is reflected in how we feel. Are you feeling tired and exhausted, more than normal? Having a hard time getting up in the mornings? Are you experiencing a sense of restlessness, or unexplained feelings of anger or irritation?

2009 was a major year for shifting, in which many of us experienced endings which lead us to new beginnings. We witnessed this globally. Some of us fought those endings; some of us didn’t have a choice in the matter. And while the endings took place, how we handled and dealt with them then and now are indicative of our willingness to shift into a higher way of living, a higher way of being.

Old patterns, old habits, old ways of doing things that haven’t served us well in the past may be causing added stress in our lives now. If we keep doing the same thing, and expecting different results each time, we create a cesspool of insanity for ourselves and for those around us. Endings happen for a reason. Regardless of the circumstances, blaming, responsibility, heartache, and the saga itself, our choices now, and before we came into this human experience, supported these endings. Our task in the human experience is to look at these transitions and learn from them: how we could’ve shown up more productively; how we may have chosen differently; what patterns or habits we may need to break; how our choices reflect our sense of self, self respect, and self-love, or worse, our self-righteousness, inner judges, self-loathing, arrogance and pride.

Just as tourist attractions teach history of a particular landmark, endings are the “human” tourist attractions in our journey to teach us about ourselves – at a human and soul level. Unfortunately, many of us just blow by these opportunities, anxious to get to a destination while forgetting we’re on a journey. We fail to realize that the information contained within these endings teach us how to how to create and enjoy a more fulfilling and gratifying journey. When we go from one experience to another without really getting intimate with our heart and soul about what happened, we live an unconscious life – one without inner awareness and self-knowing.

What endings have you dismissed or are you feeling around the bend? What transitions have you yet to fully ponder? In order to shift to a higher way of living, we must know our hearts, and to do this, we must take time to be brutally honest with ourselves and how we show up in our life: through our choices, fear, self-centeredness, actions (or inaction), habits, limiting belief systems, and judgment of self and of others. When we haphazardly move through and from one experience to another, we are simply sleepwalking in our lives. If you are feeling a growing frustration and disappointment, it is your signal to “Wake up!” Know the joy, love, peace, wisdom, abundance and creative power you already have within you to live a more fulfilling life. Know your heart’s desires. Know you are the creator of your own reality. The Great I Am, that presence of God Within, seeks to collaborate with you in your journey, to guide you towards that new experience of living a more conscious life. So let’s go! Let's post a sign on the back of our human vehicle that says "Fulfilling Life or Bust!"

Reflections in the Silence

I’m currently at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, Kentucky, just outside of Bardstown on a “silent” retreat; I’m unsure if it’s considered truly silent if I am sharing my thoughts through this venue. But in the silence, the opportunity provides one a means in which to get away from the noisy business of everyday life to really listen, to God from Within.

Most of the areas at the Abbey are designated as silent areas, including the Retreat House hallways, rooms, stairwells, dining areas (with the exception of one), library and outdoor areas where marked; retreat guests can not even use their cell phones in their rooms. Guests arrive after 11 a.m. on a Friday or a Monday and stay through the following Monday or Friday, respectively. Meals are provided three times a day, and all of this is offered by the monks for a love offering of whatever means you are able. Additionally, the monks maintain a daily schedule of services, in which they sing, chant and offer the Eucharist, in addition to their other responsibilities. Retreat guests may also enjoy over 2000 acres of walking paths in nature, though I believe this weekend, many of us will not stray too far from the warmth of the Retreat House!

I’d heard many wonderful things about this place, and originally called in late September with the hopes of being able to “get away” shortly after my mother passed. But everyone else must've heard wonderful things too, as the Abbey was booked through 2009 with this weekend of January being the first available to reserve. I trusted the Divine timing, and decided to use this weekend as a time to reflect on 2009, a ritual I do annually in order to truly appreciate all that I accomplished, overcame and learned throughout the year. I usually take time to decide what my new year will look like.

I will most definitely reflect on the year past, and from it glean much appreciation of my courage, strength, authenticity, and perseverance, as well as my successes and my losses. Yes, appreciation in the losses is important to find for it is in the closing of doors that other new opportunities are opened. In honoring those experiences, we open ourselves to receive greater good in our lives. In releasing unproductive energies of anger, resentment, we find peace through forgiveness, not simply of others but also of ourselves for our choices. And if we are all striving for peace on Earth, then let it begin with each of us, right? It’s a simple choice, but one that takes great courage to do.

As for planning 2010, well, I had a plan for 2009 and that really didn't turn out so great. Goes to show that sometimes, God presents detours that take us in a different direction, regardless of our best laid plans. Instead, I will continue living as I have lived the latter half of 2009 - one day at a time and in the moment. I have a sense of my direction - this Guidance has been given to me. But I am stepping back from being attached to how it all needs to look, and what exactly I must be doing to make all that happen. I'm tuned in more than ever to that Divine Guidance and even, sometimes to my Gemini annoyance, when I don't know "what's next," I always know that when it's time to be revealed, I'll get it. I've learned to trust and pay attention to when Divine Clarity is revealed. It's through this surrendering to the flow of the Universe working in my life that leaves me living my life in awe. The power of God working through us is amazing if we can simply let go and let God.

Here's to silence; may we find more of it in our life, if its only for five minutes a day. Let God talk to you. And simply listen.

Fear: Its Effort towards Your Failure

This week, the Universe presented two amazing opportunities to me that will 1) challenge me to step up in my spiritual service to others and 2) challenge me to step up my own spiritual growth. At their appearance, I was very excited by these opportunities; however, as time moved towards the cross-point of "showing up" within these opportunities, I felt irritable, second-guessed my participation, and even questioned my spiritual guidance and knowing around their validity. The energetic feeling can be best described as "resistance" that feels thick, burdensome, and sluggish. In the days leading up to my involvement with these activities took great effort: doing dishes was a hassle, folding laundry, even eating took more energy than necessary. This slow-motion experience I call moving through the "sludge" of Ego Resistance.

At a workshop at Mile Hi Church, Maria Nimeth talked about "pushing through" the barrier of resistance when pursuing what you desire. This barrier is not unlike the one that surrounds the Earth; as astronauts travel from the Earth's atmosphere, there's a barrier that requires more energy and fire-power to break through into outer space. As we evolve in our lives, making changes to fulfill our purpose, we reach a similar energetic barrier that offers resistance; the key is recognizing the need for more energy and effort to forge ahead. The Human Ego sets up this energetic line of resistance that will do whatever it can to make it easy to simply give up, quit, or worse, convince ourselves that the benefit on the other side isn't worth breaking through to achieve.

Enters the scene: Fear. Fear appears in a variety of ways - including irritation, frustration, low/no energy, laziness, anxiety, nervousness, self-doubt, even unworthiness. These energies are Ego's defense mechanism against change, even if it's beneficial change; it's easier to stay in the "what it knows" zone.

These opportunities will propel me in my spiritual growth and in developing my spiritual business; and my human-self attempted to slow me down in the hopes of completely discouraging me. As a conscious being of Self, I can easily recognize these counterproductive energies when they show up, see through the veil of their delusion, and find inner strength to press on against the waves of resistance. No matter how many times I've encountered this barrier, I push through and in this case, the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, that is until there's another barrier to break through . . . . .

Carolyn