The Phases of the Spiritual Journey

How exciting to see a spiritual movement in Owensboro! 

When I came home in 2009, this movement was non-existent. Evansville offered a small community of like-minded people into which I was welcomed with open arms.  That involvement allowed me to share my spiritual knowledge, practice and wisdom gained while living this path Colorado.  People seemed hungry for the information, eager even to be a part of whatever I had to offer. Yet, as quickly as they flocked to the opportunity, they quickly disappeared into the background again.  Why?

Before answering this question, you need to understand what being on a spiritual journey means. Unlike what many on this path believe or think, the spiritual journey isn’t an external experience.  The spiritual journey isn’t reading spiritual books by Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer or Deepak Chopra; nor is it watching Youtube videos of Abraham Hicks, Tara Brach or Caroline Myss. It isn’t watching Gaia TV or wearing crystals or stones or meditating now and again when convenient.  The spiritual journey isn’t taking a class here or there or doing yoga a couple times a week or visiting your local metaphysical store. Before you throw your amethyst and black tourmaline stones at me, WAIT!  All these things are WONDERFUL and excellent tools used while on the spiritual journey; but please understand this important distinction:  these things do not constitute one being on a spiritual journey.

There’s a Christian song called “Undergoing the Change” that humorously talks about how wearing the WWJD bracelet and a t-shirt professing what one believes, and placing an image of a fish on your car’s bumper doesn’t make one a Christian; instead, it goes on to say while all that stuff is “well and good”, it’s how one lives one’s life that determines whether s/he is “undergoing the change”, meaning practicing and living their Christianity. Not unlike this example, the spiritual journey is indeed a journey within, not a destination. To practice and live in the spiritual journey, one must also undergo the change – meaning undergo deep inner spiritual healing work.

The spiritual journey is a deepening of one’s consciousness of WHO you are and HOW you live the WHO of who you are. It is an inner experience within which you travel to re-connect and re-member your soul essence, buried under the human experience gunk. The spiritual journey clarifies the vibrational difference between who you are as a spiritual being and who you are in the human experience. What determines the difference? The energetic vibration you emit through your thoughts, conditioned and limited beliefs, actions, words, and choices.  Our vibrations radiate either from ego or spirit. You can read Tolle or Chopra, carry every crystal Earth has to offer, and yoga your way through the week, but when you judge others, harbor resentment against those who’ve hurt you, or wallow in complaints or your story of suffering, or hold yourself in guilt, self judgment or arrogance, you are not being on a spiritual journey, nor living a spiritual life.

We are human, and we will make human mistakes.  The difference in this journey is you are CONSCIOUS of them, OWN them, and DO YOUR INNER WORK to shift that vibration. Every thought, word, opinion, attitude, action and behavior emit energy. What you think or say, quietly or verbally to yourself and/or others in complaint, judgment, criticism, hurtfulness, and intent; what you assume about other people with or without facts; and how your egoic pride lands in all of these examples exudes a vibrational energy from one of two sources: your Egoic Operating System (EOS) and/or your Spiritual Operating System (SOS).  The difference between being on a spiritual journey and being and living the spiritual journey is vast; and that gap reflects how shallow or deep we are willing to go into understanding the spiritual truth of who we are.

As to “why” everyone disappeared, people bail upon realizing that going deep within involves getting messy with their human shit –that “baggage” we tote around in the Egoic Operation System that keeps us safe and comfortable in what we believe about who we are. Mucking around in our Egoic crap doesn’t appeal to anyone because it means owning responsibility for their experiences, their current circumstances or how they are showing up. Many prefer the comfort and safety of the pain and suffering of their EOS.  Those practicing an external experience of a “spiritual journey” wallpaper their Egoic Operating System with the façade of “being spiritual”, (i.e., crystals, yoga, spiritual lingo and talk) without really being on the spiritual journey. They talk the spiritual talk, but don’t walk the spiritual walk.

There is no EASY BUTTON for the spiritual journey. The Spiritual Journey is an INSIDE job at a soul and egoic level.  That INSIDE job means going through your stuff: stories, resentments, and limiting beliefs to clear and heal old wounds, past hurts, and sabotaging patterns rooted in egoic, ancestral and karmic energy. This healing opens one's Light channel in order to live in higher vibrational energy. This work means you must be willing to look at your hard-wired truths about yourself, instilled by key figures in your life and your own Egoic-based personal experiences.

But hold on! Our Egoic Operation System doesn’t want to lose its job! Attached to keeping us safe, it DEMANDS control in the human experience, and the spiritual journey of inner healing work threatens the Ego: what we believe about ourselves; the willingness to be open and vulnerable; the idea of asking and needing help, and more importantly; surrendering the stories we’ve come to identify and wrap around ourselves like cozy blankets. Like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, breaking through the EOS to the SOS side isn’t easy. And we cannot travel this journey alone. We must be supported by a teacher, mentor or coach who has successfully traveled this thorny path to the other side. We need loving support to guide us safely through the initial phases of Egoic vulnerability as it yells, “Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!” We need someone to hold our hand when our Ego begs us to jump ship or leads us to the nearest exit ramp off the spiritual journey.  The Ego strives for control through self-preservation.

Taking your spiritual journey to the next level and its work takes great courage, trust and faith in yourself, your Spiritual Operating System, your spiritual guides, your spiritual teacher/mentor, and spiritual tribe as you go deep into the inner work. This support lovingly calls BULLSHIT when Ego attempts to throw you off course. Few people are willing to go the distance deep within themselves to clear their sub- and unconscious stuff to become conscious to the spiritual truth of who they are. Egoic fear pushes back against their attempts to recognize their Spiritual Operating System's offer of a higher vibrational way of living consciously and competently in the spiritual journey.  The superficiality of spirituality is an EOS strategy rooted in lower vibrational energy. To walk the spiritual walk requires a Light Chaser who has an inner knowing, a willingness and the courage to walk through to the other side of Darkness. Unconscious living is painful, but I’d choose the spiritual journey through Unconsciousness to become Conscious all over again, because it liberates us from holding ourselves prisoner in the Egoic Cocoon.

Consider talking your spiritual awakening to the next vibrational level and be willing to recognize, reveal and radiate Spiritual Light in this world being and living the spiritual journey!

Carolyn is offering Owensboro's first spiritual development program, 

the Empath and Intuitive Mentoring Program that supports those new to the spiritual path to go deeper on the spiritual journey of conscious practice and living. 

For more information and an application, please contact Carolyn at journeywisdomcoaching@gmail.com.  Program applications due April 27th. First class is May 4th.  

I'm Coming Out!

Hoohaw!  It’s time. If I’ve learned anything over these past eight years, it’s this: I must own who and what I am.  It’s not something you just would bring up in a conversation. I have been sleepwalking for the past several years. I made a choice to turn away from myself, and it hasn’t served me well. I am done denying my truth because it’s exhausting and unhealthy for me.   

I am an Empath.

What’s an empath? Empaths take on other living beings' energies and even physical symptoms within our bodies.  We feel joy and upset and hurt as strongly as others do.  We are supersensitive to tones of voices and body movements.  Empaths feel first, THEN think, so when we feel, we’re not so sure we are feeling our own stuff or that of someone else’s.  According to Judith Orloff, M.D., empaths share some or all the same traits of what psychologists call Highly Sensitive People (HSP). We can have a low threshold for stimulation, a need for alone time, sensitivity to light, sound and smell, and an aversion to large crowds. Empaths need more time to downshift their gears after a busy day as our transition from high stimulation to quiet and calm is slower.  Empaths also share HSP’s love of nature and quiet environments. Everything is made of energy, including emotions and physical sensations, such as feelings and pain. Additionally, Orloff states that some empaths have profound spiritual and intuitive experiences, and are even able to communicate with animals, nature and their inner guides. How does this work physiologically? There are many scientific findings that explain the empath experience. For more information, you can visit this website for more information.  

I never knew what an empath was until I was in Colorado. Only then did I realize I’ve had empathic experiences since I was a child.  I saw and heard energy in the dead of the night while living in early childhood home. The energy buzzed in the room, though I didn’t understand it.  The trees in our backyard talked to me as clearly as those in The Lord of the Rings. I saw and felt the presence of imaginary friends who were as real to me (as they are for many children) as my human friends. These experiences continued as a teenager. During a vacation visit to the Civil War battleground of Vicksburg, I felt extremely overwhelmed by the dense energy of the historic past. It’s a somber experience for anyone but I felt the suffering of those who fought and died there. I always have known things before they happened, which were later validated as if the Universe was presenting the info to me on a silver platter. As an adult, when I lived in an older home in Lexington, I would find things such as my brush or barrettes in different places than where I left them.  After my husband swore that he wasn’t messing with me, I spontaneously informed the supposed “ghost” in a loud and scolding voice that they could live in our house, but they had to leave my shit alone. No other such unexplainable mischief took place. And I’m not sure why I thought it was a ghost or spirit. 

I usually know if I’m being lied to or not, if I tune in. I also feel the energy of animals and plants.  I am very sensitive to Earth energy, including seasonal shifts and weather. Before Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana, my birth state, I was on the couch for several days experiencing an unexplained malaise.  I felt edgy, anxious, and not myself as the deadly storm approached.  Once it hit, my energy rebounded to normal. My mentor explained I was picking up on the impending devastation and loss of life that was about to happen. I can feel stagnant energy in the air, and when it clears out with out of the ordinary winds. I also sense when ominous weather is approaching.  I tap into what’s called the collective unconscious - the collective energy of the human condition – fear, upset, anxiety, grief – caused by whatever is happening at any significant time, such as Columbine, 9/11, or right now, the shutdown.  Studying Healing Touch further expanded my empathic senses as I learned to feel people’s angst, heartaches, and physical discomforts held in their bodies and energy centers using my hands. 

I learned I was an empath while in Colorado mentoring under Deb Sheppard, a nationally known psychic and medium. I, along with others like me who are normal blue- and white-collar individuals of all socio-economic classes on that journey, opened up and accepted my empathic and intuitive gifts. I feel, know, and sense things that are unexplainable, unseen and unevidenced.
  

I have been sleepwalking since 2011 as my Third Eye slowly began to close after moving back to Owensboro out of fear and an exhaustion of what it means to be an empath. Other than a few close friends, I have been very private about this part of who I am, mainly out of fear of: judgment, losing friendships, displeasing someone, even persecution by those who simply don’t understand what it means.  But I cannot not avoid who I am; I tried and it nearly broke me because I forgot who I was and how to take care of me while taking care of everyone else. 

Today, I celebrate myself as an empath who connects with others in a unique and God-gifted way as a spiritual guide and intuitive. (Click for a fun surprise!)