The Phases of the Spiritual Journey

How exciting to see a spiritual movement in Owensboro! 

When I came home in 2009, this movement was non-existent. Evansville offered a small community of like-minded people into which I was welcomed with open arms.  That involvement allowed me to share my spiritual knowledge, practice and wisdom gained while living this path Colorado.  People seemed hungry for the information, eager even to be a part of whatever I had to offer. Yet, as quickly as they flocked to the opportunity, they quickly disappeared into the background again.  Why?

Before answering this question, you need to understand what being on a spiritual journey means. Unlike what many on this path believe or think, the spiritual journey isn’t an external experience.  The spiritual journey isn’t reading spiritual books by Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer or Deepak Chopra; nor is it watching Youtube videos of Abraham Hicks, Tara Brach or Caroline Myss. It isn’t watching Gaia TV or wearing crystals or stones or meditating now and again when convenient.  The spiritual journey isn’t taking a class here or there or doing yoga a couple times a week or visiting your local metaphysical store. Before you throw your amethyst and black tourmaline stones at me, WAIT!  All these things are WONDERFUL and excellent tools used while on the spiritual journey; but please understand this important distinction:  these things do not constitute one being on a spiritual journey.

There’s a Christian song called “Undergoing the Change” that humorously talks about how wearing the WWJD bracelet and a t-shirt professing what one believes, and placing an image of a fish on your car’s bumper doesn’t make one a Christian; instead, it goes on to say while all that stuff is “well and good”, it’s how one lives one’s life that determines whether s/he is “undergoing the change”, meaning practicing and living their Christianity. Not unlike this example, the spiritual journey is indeed a journey within, not a destination. To practice and live in the spiritual journey, one must also undergo the change – meaning undergo deep inner spiritual healing work.

The spiritual journey is a deepening of one’s consciousness of WHO you are and HOW you live the WHO of who you are. It is an inner experience within which you travel to re-connect and re-member your soul essence, buried under the human experience gunk. The spiritual journey clarifies the vibrational difference between who you are as a spiritual being and who you are in the human experience. What determines the difference? The energetic vibration you emit through your thoughts, conditioned and limited beliefs, actions, words, and choices.  Our vibrations radiate either from ego or spirit. You can read Tolle or Chopra, carry every crystal Earth has to offer, and yoga your way through the week, but when you judge others, harbor resentment against those who’ve hurt you, or wallow in complaints or your story of suffering, or hold yourself in guilt, self judgment or arrogance, you are not being on a spiritual journey, nor living a spiritual life.

We are human, and we will make human mistakes.  The difference in this journey is you are CONSCIOUS of them, OWN them, and DO YOUR INNER WORK to shift that vibration. Every thought, word, opinion, attitude, action and behavior emit energy. What you think or say, quietly or verbally to yourself and/or others in complaint, judgment, criticism, hurtfulness, and intent; what you assume about other people with or without facts; and how your egoic pride lands in all of these examples exudes a vibrational energy from one of two sources: your Egoic Operating System (EOS) and/or your Spiritual Operating System (SOS).  The difference between being on a spiritual journey and being and living the spiritual journey is vast; and that gap reflects how shallow or deep we are willing to go into understanding the spiritual truth of who we are.

As to “why” everyone disappeared, people bail upon realizing that going deep within involves getting messy with their human shit –that “baggage” we tote around in the Egoic Operation System that keeps us safe and comfortable in what we believe about who we are. Mucking around in our Egoic crap doesn’t appeal to anyone because it means owning responsibility for their experiences, their current circumstances or how they are showing up. Many prefer the comfort and safety of the pain and suffering of their EOS.  Those practicing an external experience of a “spiritual journey” wallpaper their Egoic Operating System with the façade of “being spiritual”, (i.e., crystals, yoga, spiritual lingo and talk) without really being on the spiritual journey. They talk the spiritual talk, but don’t walk the spiritual walk.

There is no EASY BUTTON for the spiritual journey. The Spiritual Journey is an INSIDE job at a soul and egoic level.  That INSIDE job means going through your stuff: stories, resentments, and limiting beliefs to clear and heal old wounds, past hurts, and sabotaging patterns rooted in egoic, ancestral and karmic energy. This healing opens one's Light channel in order to live in higher vibrational energy. This work means you must be willing to look at your hard-wired truths about yourself, instilled by key figures in your life and your own Egoic-based personal experiences.

But hold on! Our Egoic Operation System doesn’t want to lose its job! Attached to keeping us safe, it DEMANDS control in the human experience, and the spiritual journey of inner healing work threatens the Ego: what we believe about ourselves; the willingness to be open and vulnerable; the idea of asking and needing help, and more importantly; surrendering the stories we’ve come to identify and wrap around ourselves like cozy blankets. Like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, breaking through the EOS to the SOS side isn’t easy. And we cannot travel this journey alone. We must be supported by a teacher, mentor or coach who has successfully traveled this thorny path to the other side. We need loving support to guide us safely through the initial phases of Egoic vulnerability as it yells, “Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!” We need someone to hold our hand when our Ego begs us to jump ship or leads us to the nearest exit ramp off the spiritual journey.  The Ego strives for control through self-preservation.

Taking your spiritual journey to the next level and its work takes great courage, trust and faith in yourself, your Spiritual Operating System, your spiritual guides, your spiritual teacher/mentor, and spiritual tribe as you go deep into the inner work. This support lovingly calls BULLSHIT when Ego attempts to throw you off course. Few people are willing to go the distance deep within themselves to clear their sub- and unconscious stuff to become conscious to the spiritual truth of who they are. Egoic fear pushes back against their attempts to recognize their Spiritual Operating System's offer of a higher vibrational way of living consciously and competently in the spiritual journey.  The superficiality of spirituality is an EOS strategy rooted in lower vibrational energy. To walk the spiritual walk requires a Light Chaser who has an inner knowing, a willingness and the courage to walk through to the other side of Darkness. Unconscious living is painful, but I’d choose the spiritual journey through Unconsciousness to become Conscious all over again, because it liberates us from holding ourselves prisoner in the Egoic Cocoon.

Consider talking your spiritual awakening to the next vibrational level and be willing to recognize, reveal and radiate Spiritual Light in this world being and living the spiritual journey!

Carolyn is offering Owensboro's first spiritual development program, 

the Empath and Intuitive Mentoring Program that supports those new to the spiritual path to go deeper on the spiritual journey of conscious practice and living. 

For more information and an application, please contact Carolyn at journeywisdomcoaching@gmail.com.  Program applications due April 27th. First class is May 4th.  

Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go!

It's a New Year and I sincerely hope you all safely and joyously celebrated! I bless and thank 2011 for all it provided so I may prepare to move forward in excitement and anticipation for 2012.

If you read my last post, you know I did some serious “shedding” in 2011. The year facilitated stripping myself of Egoic pride, and surrendering completely to the guidance and flow of God in my life. A few months ago in a phone conversation with my former spiritual teacher, I explained I felt like I'd spent most of 2011 “waking up” from a really bad dream. She gently stated, “Carolyn, you've been grieving for the last two years, and you're coming out of it.” It never occurred to me I was in a grief for over two years; I mean, I felt better about my mom's passing, though I still had moments. But when I stopped to ponder Deb's words, I grieved many losses that started before my mom's death, and that I continued to experience since through 2011.

Worse, I was making major decisions from that place of grief! I remember reading somewhere you are not to make any major decisions for a year after a loved one passes. Well, I certainly didn't listen to that sage advice! I moved to Evansville to be closer to a man I'd just met only a few months before and had agreed to marry. I started a new business, offering holistic, metaphysical services in an area unfamiliar with such concepts. I made poor financial decisions; I renegotiated my values for friendships. In hindsight, and gratefully I look back laughing at the whirlwind that was my life. While I wasn't so amused last summer, now I can laugh when I look back at the last three years thanks to a healing process, and jestfully ask myself: What were you thinking?!? And damn, if you didn't have some cahonas!

That wild and crazy ride had its good stuff too!! I met some amazingly warm and welcoming business people in Evansville (Rainmakers) who supported me despite not fully understanding what it was I did! I shared some fun, pee-in-your-pants laughter, and memorable times with classmates in a few wild and haphazard adventures. I had the honor to serve some incredible clients through my business, Healing Life Energy. I familiarized myself and connected within the community of Evansville, Indiana where I called home for nineteen months. I came home and reconnected with Owensboro, Kentucky, and my extended family members and acquaintances of the past. I am employed and in service to a wonderful non-profit organization serving to empower others, a mission resonating with my heart's own desire. And I'm closer to my father, committed to serving him in his aging years, and more importantly, restoring and healing my relationship with him.

For the first time in over three years, I feel like my life is in alignment, and I am exactly where I am suppose to be right now. In 2009, I made decisions out of emotion. In 2010, I made decisions both emotionally and intellectually. In 2011, my Spirit's voice broke through the clutter that was my life so I may truly recognize and know my heart. Upon my decision to return to Owensboro, everything felt right in that moment in my heart, in my soul. My “head” argued to convince me not to walk away from all that I'd achieved, none of which left me feeling happy or fulfilled. A weight released, the burden of carrying/wearing a plan, perhaps even a facade, as designed by the Human Ego.

The feeling of inner certainty, an absolute knowing within of God's plan broke through the chaos that was my life when I opened myself up to listen. Once the message was received and accepted, when I surrendered to it, allowed myself to be in the flow of Life, things began to shift in my favor. All I had to do was be present, surrender, open myself up to receive, and allow.

I regret nothing of these last three years. All of it I value, despite how things ended, that things ended as they did. I wouldn't trade it because now, I know what it feels like to swim against the current. And I now know what it feels like to swim completely in the flow of Life. Now, it's easier. Joyous. Peaceful. Harmonious. Stress-free.

Yes, I'm excited about my life and 2012, and through this blog, I will share that excitement and all the year brings forth in my experience. I'm awake! I'm centered! I'm clear! I'm ready!